Tag Archives: Poor Sports

Hunting Is Not A Sport

Alligator hunting is definitely not a sport. I have no problem with someone going out and killing an animal that they will eat (bonus if they use other parts of the animal – e.g. the hide); that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about defending hunting as a sport. I’m definitely looking at you, ESPN. Why does “The Worldwide Leader in Sports” have a hunting section of their website?

I bring this up because the big news out of the hunting world today is that a hunter set a Texas state record this weekend when he bagged a 12-foot 6-inch, 800-pound alligator. And this hunter happens to be five-years old. Red flags tend to go up when a five-year-old is at the top of your “sport”, so let’s examine how this star athlete got his kill: The hunter and his father set a trap the night before the big kill by baiting a dead armadillo (roadkill, naturally) on a massive hook in a shallow pond. The next morning they discovered that they had a catch and used their truck to haul the baited gator out of the water so that the toddler could shoot the gator, and thus get his heroic kill. Keep in mind that none of these procedures were done for the sake of the five-year-old; this is all standard gator hunting technique. The equivalent in actual sport would be allowing me to run over Floyd Mayweather with my truck and call myself the champ. So to all you sport hunters out there, how about you try a real sport. Like cheerleading.

[Image via: YOUneak]

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“Y’all better dance. Don’t bend down and try to get your money.”

That is all.

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Filed under Women

How to Ruin a Celebration

In preparation for the Phillies and Rays ‘ eventual pennant wins, the New York Times yesterday published an article about cleaning up from the champagne soaked celebrations. Not only that, the article highlighted a number of preventative measures that teams take to make clean up easier, such as lining the clubhouse with a layer of plastic wrap. Now we love spraying champagne as much as the next guy, but if there’s one thing that ruins a celebration more than cleaning up, its preparing for cleaning up before we even get to celebrate. Somehow spraying champagne onto Saran wrap doesn’t sound all that appealing to us.

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